Frankly, you haven’t lived until you’ve started flat hunting in Tel Aviv, this is obviously to rent. I don’t know a single person who could possibly afford to buy in this oddly, and yet, dramatically expensive city.
So for those of you who are thinking of moving to the city of dreams - here’s how best to prepare for flat hunting.
What happens when astronomical demand meets limited supply
I cannot stress how few fucks any person gives when it comes to renting a flat out. There are so many desperate Olim and Israelis seeking to live here. That if you walk away there are any number of other suckers waiting to pay unbelievable sums to live in a dingy apartment with eternally dirty floors. So, even though you are giving money to the landlord, and quite possibly to an estate agent, they are not really there to help you. Frankly, quite what they are there for is not clear to most people, but be ready to endlessly call, badger and speak Hebrew as if the language doesn’t a little terrify you.
I once called my landlord every single day until he dealt with something and, hun, let me tell you I have no shame. So be ready to fight - fist and glove to get that apartment and, then, to make sure shit gets dealt with.
2. Speed
When looking for an apartment you will spend all your time on either Facebook groups, Doron or Yad2. And I mean all your time. I know you think you spend a lot of time on Instagram and Facebook now, but babe you have no idea. You will wake up to Doron alerts, then you scour Facebook groups and repeat that at various intervals throughout the day. Because, here’s the secret to flat hunting in Tel Aviv - you have to be quick. And I mean quick. I once waited two days to go see an apartment - an apartment with a balcony. I’m not quite sure what I was thinking. Because that baby was snapped up by people far smarter than me on the very first day. If you see a flat you like - you drop everything (and I mean everything) and run, don’t walk, to snap it up.
And PS - if you aren’t sure, you will have around 24 hours to make the decision, so fun times for the commitment phobes out there.
3. Expensive
Moving apartments will be expensive.
However much you think it will cost double it, at least.
Firstly - your landlord will probably ask for a couple of months rent just for jokes and because he can. So there’s 7K NIS that just flew out of your account when you needed it the most, whoops.
Then there’s the movers, then the furniture. Remember - most apartments in Tel Aviv come unfurnished. And I know you think it’s OK because you justify the purchase knowing you can always sell it on. Let me tell you - the moment, the very moment you sit on a couch its value plummets. You may well end up offering it for free just to get rid of it.
4. Tama
There isn’t a flat in all Tel Aviv that isn’t possibly under Tama. This means, at some point at some point in the future - the entire building may become a construction site. It could be anywhere from one year to six years, but honestly- no-one really seems to know. Most contracts offer a get out of jail free card should this happen, because, honestly, it’s a little akin to hell on earth to live through. Though, if I’m honest, the real fear is not that your apartment goes under tama - you should be able to get out. It’s that G-d forbid the flat next door or opposite goes under tama.
5. Olim
Here’s the truth - it is just harder for olim, there’s no two ways about it really. Often you need two guarantors (how many of us know Israeli citizens who are willing to sign bonds of 50K NIS?) Sometimes landlords are worried we will flee the country so are reluctant to sign us and, frankly, we often lack that Israeli chutzpah/charm/ability to shmooze to win over the landlord.
That being said when me and the boyfriend (an Israeli) went to see our current flat - we were in there for five minutes, wearing masks and so whilst I did my best Tyra Bank's impression trying to smize through the eyes, somehow he still chose us from the eight other couples who saw it on the same day. And there were more waiting behind the scenes!
What are your best flat hunting stories? How was your experience? Comment below and let me know. And don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Network with Helena. I try and post lots of lovely pictures of Israel as well as offer lots of advice on networking/LinkedIn/making Aliyah.